XBX3

review: splinter cell conviction

2010-12-28T08:28:00.001Z

Syphon Filter and Metal Gear Solid rolled into one and made more relevant. Crafty use of the score, cut scenes projected onto walls of the maps and the ability to interrogate someone's head into a TV screen. Its worth giving up your heroin addiction to buy this game.

review: damnation

2010-12-27T08:55:00.003Z

My best friend says this is the worst video game ever made. There are several hints that it is a beta of the beta of the Gears Of War beta. There is nothing more depraved and irresponsible than trying to control a character in the depths of an ether binge. Sound design was constructed by someone who is only allowed to write with crayons for their own safety.

review: guitar hero aerosmith

2010-12-27T08:44:00.002Z

Whoever is really behind Aerosmith is a marketing/PR machine. Remember that arcade game that was Terminator 2 except Shwarzene5x^wwwr was replaced with the band? Guitar Hero: Same old game with Aerosmith songs. Bargain bin for the general population, addition to shrine for fans.

review: transformers the game

2009-10-25T13:47:00.002Z

Clipping, goofy looped sound effects, weird controls and…..the usual hollywood movie turned into a game to make a quick buck. Finishing this review with 5 words: I want my money back.

2009-08-19T07:36:00.001+01:00

Call Of Juarez: Bound In Blood demo is now available for download on xbox live. I can't even begin to grasp how "Juarez" is pronounced.

garbage singer in GH5

2009-07-30T11:47:00.002+01:00

Shirley Manson is only happy when it rains and will be in the new GH5 as a playable character. I was kind of hoping for every member of Slayer instead. GH666?

xbx3 ipod/iphone wallpaper

2009-07-25T10:18:00.002+01:00

Keep spreading the word about XBX3. Spread it onto your phone, public libraries, cafe's in Paris and Paris Hiltons bedroom. Right click save as and don't get avian bird flu.

review: force unleashed

2009-07-24T01:39:00.000+01:00

Hack and slash with criminally retarded camera angles leaving you stuck in damage taking situations with no idea whats going on. Cool cut scenes and kind of a bummer you have to eviscerate Wookies as Vader in the prologue. Frustrating as teaching a retard to play drums in some parts with huge lag after a button press. Force lightning is the new black. Throwing Jawa's with Force Grip is tres chic. Chesty LeRue flying you around to missions is money. Playing as Darth is ninja.

splinter cell: conviction

2009-07-23T22:33:00.005+01:00

Never played any of these Splinter Cell games but this one looks pretty bad ass. Some guy getting battered in a public bathroom...good start to the video. For some reason you have to fill in your age to view the clip yet kids all around the world are free to see other kids living in mud huts on fire from napalm during the 5 o'clock news.

iphone/ipod excitebike wallpaper

2009-07-23T12:51:00.006+01:00

I used to sit for hours building tracks that were impossible to get through. Right click save as apply to relevant Apple device wash up before each meal floss and look both ways before crossing the street.

jarrod needs help

2009-07-23T08:11:00.012+01:00

Back in the real world my homey Jarrod needs a George Washington for college if you can spare. I can personally vouch that he is a true ultimate ninja. So ninja that Jason Mraz took him on tour in Europe with him.

1 new message

2009-07-22T08:08:00.002+01:00

Playing Uno the other night and after I went back to the dashboard one of the players in my previous game messaged me: "are you bi?". So I replied: "No, I am tri". There are some oddballs out there maybe trying to be funny, or get a date or sore losers. Block block block.

360voice

2009-07-21T11:31:00.006+01:00

360voice is a very cool site that gathers all your xbox live stats and generates a blog from the standpoint of your console. My console says some pretty corny things. Browsing through it you find gamerscores that are inhuman and some dudes having played over 400 games. How is the world still being overpopulated!?

bmx video games

2009-07-21T03:42:00.000+01:00

Both of us spend a lot of time on a BMX when we are not gaming or blowing up toilets with fireworks. A few months back I sat down and wrote of all the BMX video games I had played or could think of for Fatbmx. About a month later I found my idea pretty much plagiarized on another BMX site. Would post the link to that as well but cannot remember where I saw it. I'll see that author again some day in Writers Hell.

rabbids

2009-07-20T15:32:00.010+01:00

Last time I had rabies I recall acting just like this. Take old Yeller out back and fill his skull with lead little Timmy.

review: quantum of solace

2009-07-20T12:04:00.003+01:00

Usual movie game deal here. Mediocre movie game thrown on top of a proven game engine. Has a cool attack when you get close to an enemy and you have to press a corresponding button to finish it. Easy to finish in probably a day if you are a shut in gamer. I'd buy it for a Dollar. James Bond dies in the next movie. Full blown aids.

review: kung fu panda

2009-07-20T10:03:00.005+01:00

You run around Kung Fu'ing other animals as the Panda bear from that Kung Fu Panda movie. Never seen the movie but they are all the same as Toy Story so technically I have seen it. Good game for kids, nothing too complex and nothing really new. Entertaining but not serious. The achievements are a bit difficult and if its at the top of a pile in a bargain bin...get it.

press start

2009-07-20T09:29:00.003+01:00

So this is the start of our blog. Basically Rick and I don't go to comic conventions or dress up as a storm trooper while masturbating smeared in peanut butter. Michael Jackson is dead? Who gives a fuck. Games have been part of our lives for a long time but we are not glued to a controller 24/7. We have opinions just like all the other caustic geeks on the net but we hope to bring something unique to all the cacophonous digital noise out there. I'm also a Sagittarius and like long romantic walks on the beach. Our gamertags are over there on the right so feel free to hit us up for some carnage.